I think a lot...not as much as I talk, but I am constantly thinking about something. I was thinking the other day about how blessed of a family we are. Seth and I have great family on both sides. His parents love me as a daughter and my parents love Seth as a son. Our siblings totally rock and I have the BEST time with them. Sometimes I wish Christmas was every week so we could get the entire family together more often. This year was especially wonderful. I got to spend a couple of days with my sister and her husband. It was a HUGE blessing to me and God had answered my prayer. Even though we had been a part for awhile, I felt like we connected again. Josiah is still talking about them and is quite smitten. Christmas always is surrounded by material gifts and as an adult, I have always felt sad about that. This year I received something far more wonderful than an earthly gift...I received peace and restoration. Sometimes God's answers seem to take too long for my heart, but in the end, He always knows what is right. His timing is never wrong.

I actually want to blog...I just don't. I think my last excerpt was in May...YIKES! Let's see, has anything happened since then??? Well...I am now 7 months pregnant so I guess that constitutes a major change in the Quin household!!! Karah Grace Quin is due to arrive at the end of January and we are really excited!!! I guess I should say most of us are excited. J has days where he is really excited about his "baby sista," but other days he gets a little upset. One minute, he shows me all the toys he is going to teach "karwah" to play with and the next minute, he screams as he sees his old room turn into a pink palace. I honestly didn't know he would understand it so well. However, some of our really good friends had a baby girl a couple of months ago and we have explained to him that we will be bringing home a little baby like that...he seems to get it. He is so great with that baby and watching him "pat" her and tell her "it's okay" when she cries makes my heart melt.

Okay, so what has Josiah been up to the past several months??? Learning...learning....learning. His language development is fantastic and Seth and I are so happy to finally know exactly what he wants. He is such a sponge, which is good and bad. We have quickly learned that we now have to filter everything. While we once would call broken items "stupid thing" or maybe a bad driver a "dummy," we now have to watch everything. In fact, we have told him not to say things and when he hears us say them, he says, "don't say that, mommy/daddy!" Sometimes I am not sure who is raising whom.

In July, we took our first big road trip with Josiah. We went down to Nashville to see Aunt Trisha and Uncle Shawn. He did so well with the 8 hour trip both ways. We couldn't believe it! We had a great time and Josiah didn't want to leave. We are hoping to try that journey again when Karah is a little older.

Another big moment for us was watching Josiah as a ring bearer. He and his little cousin Elijah joined forces for their Aunt Betsy's wedding in August!!! They did an amazing job for being so little! The wedding was perfect and we all had such a great time...especially Aunt Molly!:) (that was for you Mols since you are one of the only ones reading this).

This fall, we placed J into a gymnastics class with a couple of his friends and little Elijah. They were so stinkin' cute in it. J was so good at it and loved every minute!

Most recently, we moved J to his new room and set up his "big boy" bed. He did so awesome with it. Potty training on the other hand...it is going to take a little more time. He has gone pee pee twice on the big potty, but doesn't want anything to do with it right now. :( We are hoping it happens soon because we are tired of hearing, "Mommy/daddy, I pooped...change me...right now!" Yes, he is definitely the king of the castle, although power may be shifting in the coming months! I am excited to see our family grow! Miss Karah is kicking me like crazy as I write this.

Oh, parenthood is such a joy to me. I had a bad day at work yesterday. I watched a 16 year old slip away and it shook me to my very core. They allowed family to come in as we tried desperately to keep him here. His young face brought big tears to my eyes. His family was in such pain. It can be so hard not to internalize those moments. It took my co workers and I some time to regroup after that one. All I could think of is Josiah and if that had been him on that bed. My heart crumbled for that beautiful family. It does make you realize that you truly have to cherish every moment because you don't know what is ahead of you. I came home that night and my son ran to me screaming, "mommy, mommy, you're back!" It made me cry all over again. Life is so fragile and even the smallest moments should be treasured. God has blessed me beyond belief with awesome family, friends, and just Him...I am ever so grateful.:)

A Mother's Heart

Well, I have the most amazing mom in the world. I am never shy about stating that. She is the most generous and loving lady that I have ever known. That is why I hurt for her so. Yesterday, we went to a mother/daughter banquet at my church. At the end of the brunch, the speaker quoted a line from the musical "Wicked." It talked about how whatever happens in a mother/daughter relationship, that daughter's hand is always on the mother's heart. As I watched the tears stream down my mama's face, I knew why. My heart breaks with my mom. I don't know what is going to happen with my own son down the road, but I hope and pray that he does not desert his daddy and me. Because you see, his hand is very much on my heart. It was there the first day I saw that positive pregnancy test....the first time I saw him on his sonogram...the first time his little cry was heard on this earth...and every "first" thereafter. I sat there and cried thinking of my own child, but also for my beautiful mother who has given EVERYTHING she could to her two girls. She didn't deserve this.

I pray a lot for Trisha. I have been very blessed to have a strong church family that also prays. Seth and I attend a small group that are awesome people...EVERY single one of them. The same day as that brunch, I met with that group and we began to talk about that morning's events. We prayed together and I can't tell you how wonderful it felt to share my heart with 6 amazing ladies. I am not saying that this will change anything. The answer to prayer isn't always "yes." The answer may simply be to wait. I am just happy to know that I do not go through these troubles alone. God has blessed me with the best friends in the whole world. He knew I would need these girls and he sent them at a perfect time. It cracks me up because quite a few of them are actually the exact same age as my own sister...they have filled in during her absence. I love my sister very much and miss her more than anyone could ever know. I know that the girls that sat around in that living room Saturday night have the same hope as I do...that someday my sister and I will reconcile and I will be able to bring her to that group and we can say, "this is the the group that prayed you home." Now wouldn't that be special???

Anyway, that was just on my heart because of the brunch yesterday morning! I try to not think about it, but sometimes it is brought to the forefront of my mind.

Thank you Rebekah, Hilary, Sara, Daphne, Heather, and Lucy for being such wonderful ladies. I love you all and feel so inspired by each one of you!!!

Surprise!

And no, I am really not a "ho fo sho" for those of you that are concerned!

Well, I turned 30 a couple of weeks ago and I am not going to lie about it; my feelings were a little hurt. My husband, Seth, is always so good at making me feel like I am very special to him. I thought for sure that he would make my 30th extra special! January 12th came and went and he didn't make a big deal out of it. I didn't say much, but would tell others (some friends/Seth's mom and sister Betsy/my parents) that I was surprised he didn't do something for it. well, last Saturday, he made up for all that by throwing me a surprise 30th birthday party. I was not completely clueless about it because anyone that knows me knows that I am a mastermind at figuring things out. However, he did a FANTASTIC job. Seth and I had plans to go to Alexanders that night with three couples to celebrate my birthday. We were going to leave J at his parents' house and go on from there. When we arrived, I walked in and saw about thirty faces looking back at me!!! I can't even begin to explain how that made me feel. I guess it made me feel like I have definitely had a great thirty years on this earth. I have some of the best friends in the world...have loved me through everything. God has definitely been good to me. Also, seeing both families standing there made me feel extremly blessed. I love them all very much and feel so lucky to call them my family. I felt so loved and appreciated.



So we went to Alexanders and more friends joined there. That made me happy. We had a great time. Yes, our friend Greg gave me another stellar gift this year...the guy loves gag gifts. He gave me a "HO FO SHO" blingy drinking cup. The only thing it saw all night was iced tea...ha! It sure made me laugh though. That is about as wild as we get! I giggled all night long!!!



Finally, we went dancing...even more friends met up with us there! We had a good time, but realized we were too old to be at a club. I just love to dance...so much fun!!! So if anyone knows a good place to kick up your feet that isn't made up of all 21 year olds, let us know! We still had a great time and I will not soon forget this experience. Thank you Seth for all the hard work you put into this! You are the best husband in the world!!!! I love you so much!

I am 30 and fabulous!!!

My blogs have been pretty heavy as of late. I am not ALWAYS like that. In fact, I don't think anyone that spends more than three seconds with me would think that I am a downer. Anyway, I turned the big 3-0 today. I have been dreading it for several weeks now, but when I woke up this morning, I felt fabulous! I know, I know, you are supposed to use the word "fabulous" when referring to your 50th birthday (thanks Ryan Hite for bringing that to my attention on FB), but I could not find a better word for it. I have been happy all day. I woke up to the sound of my son calling for me and soon was greeted by my BFF (Seth :)) in the kitchen. I am not quite sure what I was dreading...the number possibly??? That number seemed to go to the wayside when I began to think how truly blessed my family is. I received so many birthday wishes via phone/text/facebook, which made me realize that I am truly loved and appreciated...sorry I didn't respond to the texts/phone calls...it was a busy day! God made my 29th year extraordinary and I know His plans for my 30th year will be out of control exciting! I just want to say that I love my family and friends so much! Each one of you make me love each year of my life. Hugs and kisses to you all! Muah!

I felt the need to post today. Josiah keeps growing up and leaning new things and I know that I need to be writing it down...this blog is my way of doing that. I am finding it ever so important to cherish all the little things that bring me such joy in life. Last blog, I wrote about the impact Dax Locke has made on my family...today that baby is dancing with Jesus. I can't explain the sorrow I have felt for that ailing little boy and for his beautiful, doting family. I would read his mommy's blogs and immediately put myself in her shoes. I internalized everything that she wrote and cried for that baby every day. I can't begin to explain why this happened or how a child could endure such pain. I am 100% follower of Jesus Christ and love him with my heart, yet I can't wrap myself around why this happens. I tell you what I do know... I know that He gave the world a tiny piece of heaven through Dax Locke. That little boy and his parents touched hearts around the world. He made people re-evaulate their lives. I am certainly one of those people. I often wondered why my family had to endure the pain of having a daughter/sister walk out on us or watching my dad endure the pain of being an outcast by his family simply because he didn't worship a church. It was heart-breaking to me and I would ask "why" constantly...enter... baby Dax. When I began to read Dax's story several months ago, I felt God. I began to realize that I had so many important things in my life. I didn't need to focus on my anger/bitterness that I felt every time I saw an old pic of my sister or in hearing her name mentioned. I kept thinking that I needed to cherish every moment with the ones that LOVE me. I also realized that I need to pray for the ability to forgive and move on to the great things in my life and focus on those things. By nature, I am a very loving person and want everyone to get along, but I also know that I am not always in control of that. I still pray that my sister's heart, along with my dad's family, will change and they will be open to this love that I speak of in my blog. I cry for them all the time and pray that their hard hearts will melt into something soft and pliable. Until then, I am going to cherish the moments with those that love me most. I am blessed to have an amazing hubs, son, mom and dad, in-laws, and some of the best friends in the whole world! (Amy, you are probably the only friend that reads this, so yes, I am talking about you -Muah!)

Anyway, this is what I decided to do today in my effort to "cherish every moment" as Dax's mommy would say. I decided to write down some of the things that Josiah does that make my heart melt...here we go:

The way he sleeps on all fours during nap time
The way he runs through our house screaming, "mama, mama!"
The way he runs his blankie through his hands until he finds a corner to hold
The way he breathes when he sleeps
The way he gets concerned when I cry
The way he squeezes my neck when he gives my a tight hug
The way he puckers up when I say, "give me a kiss"
The way he mimics my words
They way he folds his little hands when we pray
The way he claps for whomever said the prayer (he is a little charismatic)
The way he dances when music comes on
The way he pretend fights with daddy
The way he shares everything with me
The way he shares everything with others
The way he throws all of his bath time toys into the tub when I say "Bathtime"
The way he cuddles when we read together
The way he raises his chubby little hands when he has worship time with mommy
The way he sheds his socks five minutes after putting them on
The way he plays with his little cousin Elijah and his friend Addison
The way he asks for a cookie or vitamin
The way he moves his mouth to sing, but nothing comes out
The way he pats my back when he is crying and upset
The way his hands and feet get moving when he is excited to get in the car and go somewhere
The way he runs to me after nursery
The way he puts food into my mouth
The way he says "kitty" LOL
The way he loves his grandparents
The way he loves his aunts and uncles
The way he says "cool, dude"
The way he looks in jammies that are just a tad bit too small for him-ha!
The way he loves his daddy
They way he grins
The way he smiles
The way he loves me and his entire family


There are so many more "ways" that this child makes me cherish, but this blog would stretch to the heavens if I wrote them all! I encourage all of you to do this...not just for a child, but for whatever you hold dear in your life!!!! I love you all so much and thank you for reading this blog!!! Hopefully, I will write again soon!

Has it really been four months since my last blog??? Well, Josiah will be entering college next week...not really, but it seems like it!!! He is the most active little boy that I have ever seen! You have to keep in mind that I am with him all the time; so to me, he is definitely the most active boy I HAVE SEEN! ;) Anyway, he is building his vocabulary immensely! He uses phrases like, "I don't know," "Up mama," "Call Nana"...Yes, I am serious, he will hand me the phone and say, "Call Nana." He likes to hear the voices on the other end of the phone. He laughs and giggles quietly and never says anything back to the person talking to him! It can be frustrating because they want to hear his cute little voice so badly. Other words we are learning include the following: train, cow, sheep, moon (pronounced moan), kitty (unfortunately pronounced titty), and many more that I can't even remember. He calls my dad and mom "nana" and "pawpaw." He calls Seth's dad "Pa" instead of "Pap" and he calls Seth's mom "Momo" instead of Mimi. Last night, Momo and Pa ( :) )came for a visit and as they were pulling out of the driveway, he was waving violently and screaming "bye momo, bye pa." It is super cute. Another thing that he started doing recently is to carry a picture around of my dad holding him as a teeny tiny baby...he gets angry when you take it away!!! He found it in his mama's scrapbooking pile! The child LOVES pictures! We received the Quin family Christmas card today and he is having a hayday with it! He points out Momo and Pa, and he says "maw" for Aunt Molly, and he can point out cousin "lijah" too.. He can point the rest of the family out when I show him everyone.

J is like a little sponge, taking in everything around him. That is good for the most part, until he hangs around our friend Greg, known as "Uncle Hat." Greg teaches him words like "ocean" and such...if only it came out sounding like ocean. Seth and I will look at each other when he uses that word and in panic say, "what did he just say?"

Another thing that J and I work on together when we are at home are his colors. Some days he nails them and other days, he does not! I try to lay out all of his toy balls that are different colors. I then proceed to ask him for the different colors of balls and he brings that particuliar color to me. He likes that game! He is also still a fan of reading. The books of choice right now are "Trains," (thanks Aunt Julie), "The Cow Says Moo," (thanks Momo) and "Goodnight Moon" (thanks me). Oh, and I am going to buy him "Little Einstein" videos now. We watch it on Disney in the mornings and I think he is ready to upgrade from "Baby Einstein" to this one...so are mommy and daddy...VERY READY!!!!!!

We had a good Thanksgiving with both families! I always tell Seth how blessed we are to have TWO families that we get along with so well!!!! My in-laws treat me like a daughter/sister and my parents treat Seth as a son!!! I will say that this Thanksgiving has been a time for me to reflect on so much! I have been following the story of baby Dax. He is from Washington, IL and has leukemia. He is fighting for his life the very moment that I write this. I follow his mom's blogs daily. I get terribly emotional when I read this blog. I sometimes will sit by myself and cry for awhile. You see, he is close to J's age and I put myself in that mommy's shoes. She is such a great mom and she has made me realize what I take for granted in my life. Sometimes, we get caught up in the silly drama of our lives...may it be with family or friends or whatever else. I ,myself, struggle with problems with my sister and have prayed for reconciliation for years. This Dax story has made me realize that there are far worse things in this life. He is a baby fighting for his life and enduring pain that no child should have to bear. I have realized that I shouldn't whine over things that I have no control over. Instead, I should be thankful for what God has given me this year. I pray for Dax Locke and his family several times a day. My heart is full every time I read the latest about him. I am crying right now as I revisit the thought of his mommy saying that she doesn't have much time left with her baby, but she memorizes every inch of him and kisses him over and over again. I pray that God will help me to get rid of my anger and bitterness toward others and focus on the blessings that He has bestowed on our family! You never know what lies ahead...so for now I am doing what Julie Locke writes at the end of her blogs...CHERISHING EVERY MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. A special thank-you to one of my besties, Hilary Melick, for taking this beautiful shot of my son! I love you Hil!